MAYORMCHEESE's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Pokemon Master EP 19]

wait

that's not a pikachu, that's a raichu. watch me as i go complain to the bbs.

Hulalaoo responds:

lair ! THIS IS PIKACHU MUTANT !!!

[Kitty Krew Opening J]

lmao

i think BFK's ban is actually over now cause they forgot to renew

but uh

this owns

[$eG@]

i'm going to

eat sonic's vomit

hail china

[SFIV - Rufus Vs Seth]

I dunno man.

I owned Seth hard with Rufus.

[2nd Annual Tank Awards]

i'm gonna go look at pictures of fat anime chicks

thanks again p-bot!

[Sonic's Lunch Break]

ahahahahah wow

it's been a while dude

[Girlchan in Paradise Ep1]

Girlchan in Paradise. A shameful production.

Ah, the VHS section of the thrift store. I've discovered nightmares, and I've discovered dreams. Mostly nightmares, however. As I made my way across the VHS rack, clutching a used, scratched OMC 'How Bizarre' single CD in my left hand, I made way across a title that caught my eye. Now I realize that I could've gone blind just looking at it.

Girlchan in Paradise. Released in the US in 1998 (originated in Japan in 1991) this was either released to a) compete with the Pokemon craze or b) hope to hit with the next anime hit ala Sailor Moon. On the back, it claims to have a soundtrack by The Offspring and Monster Magnet. Wow. Sign me the fuck up, I was sold already. There was also about fifty warnings of nudity, and a screenshot of the lead heroine caught with ripped clothes in an alien trap.

First off, the dubbing. Garbage, I guess. The lead character sounds like a nerd with an east coast accent. The late Lorenzo Music makes an appearance as some fat guy who makes bad one liners. I guess they just thought of Garfield or something as they saw that fat guy.

Speaking of Garfield, ever had the short lived Garfield fruit rolls? I bought a pack of those off eBay and they're all black. What the H*ck. I ate them anyways, and they taste like a mix of charcoal and old orange juice. Not bad, 5/10. Would eat again, maybe when I'm drunk and downloading porn.

Anyways, there's the girl. She has big ummm.... "torpedos" ;), and she sounds like she's 12! What the h*ck. Also I saw her panties a lot, and her voiceover is also the same voice that says the DiC logo after Inspector Gadget.

Okay, I'm sorry, but I can't stop thinking of Garfield foods! I'm munching on delicious Garfield Mac and Cheese right now (8/10) and my stomach is just GROWLING for more! I went on eBay and purchased more Garfield food, to feed my exotic needs. Mmmmmm Garfield gummis... I give them a solid 10/10! Even from 1979 they taste sweeter than lukewarm water.

Oh god, back to the anime. In the first episode, Girlchan loses her power to talk with animals and so she can't understand what her cat is trying to say to her. She spends the whole episode getting her powers back only to discover that her cat was saying "I want your boobs bitch" the whole time. What the h*ck. I am wasting my time. I angrily bit into my Garfield caramel popcorn (4/10) as my pants got stiff staring at the cartoon panties.

The next episode is based around Girlchan's pet pig, Petals. Petals is scared of a dog next door or something. I didn't care. I jerked off while this episode played to pass the time.

Okay, there's a third episode, but I didn't give a shit. As I got my fatass up, I stumbled over to the VCR and threw the tape in the trash. I couldn't stand that bullshit anymore. I was too busy jerking off and eating Garfield food to really care, I guess.

Overall, 1/10. And a great 9/10 for Garfield Sour Candies.

Egoraptor responds:

I think you were watching another series.